Stand Your Ground: Dealing with Illegal and Unethical Requests at Work

 

 

    Imagine this scenario. You’ve worked at a voluntary residential mental health treatment program for years. You climbed the ladder from psychiatric technician to lead tech, then supervisor. You’re seasoned, calm under pressure, and rarely encounter a situation you can’t handle. Your confidence isn’t ego. You've earned it.

 

    Then came Ashley. No placeholder needed, that's her real name. She’s your new direct supervisor, and it’s clear from the start that she’s out of her depth. Still, you extend grace and support. Everyone’s new once. But you quickly notice something troubling: she struggles to admit when she’s wrong, or when she simply doesn’t know.

 

    You shrug it off. Everyone has their quirks, even you.

 

     Her insistence on being right isn't a major problem... until it is.

 

     You have a new admission who wants to leave immediately after admission. That is the client's right, you work at a voluntary program so they can leave whenever they would like. You can do your best to explain to them why they should stay but ultimately, it is the client's choice.

 

    The client struggles with communication, so you reach out to their treatment team. You explain that it is the client's right to leave to program at any time. You explain that the client needs extra assistance and ask when would be the best time for the treatment team to pick the client up.

 

    To your surprise, the treatment team refuses to pick up the client. They state that the client needs to be sent to an involuntary facility. This is not true, because the client does not meet criteria for an involuntary hold at this time. You uphold your boundaries and set a date for the client's discharge. All of your actions are well within your rights as the supervisor of a voluntary program.

 

    The phone on your desk rings.

 

    It's Ashley, and she is furious. She shouts that you’re not allowed to discharge the client. You stand there, stunned, the phone pressed to your ear. Then she says something that makes your brow furrow: “This could be seen as a racial issue.”

 

    Click. She hangs up.

 

    You’re left holding the phone, mentally rifling through every policy, every training, every rule you've ever known. What she’s suggesting isn’t just wrong. It’s illegal.

-

    How are you going to react to this?

    If you obey your supervisor, you will very likely be fired, as well as maybe arrested if anyone finds out. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, go straight to JAIL. 

    If you disobey your supervisor, you will still very likely be fired. You won't be arrested, but it never looks good to be fired. Plus, you need to eat and you need a roof over your head.

-

     This story happened to me. I never thought that I would find myself in a position where I would be asked demanded to break the law at work.

    As always, there was much more to Ashley before this happened. I can't say that I was surprised that she had done this, or that she refused to listen to anything that I said. The only thing that really surprised me was that there were at least eight people who agreed with her. I almost doubted myself, then I remembered that I was living in this kind of uʍop ǝpᴉsd∩. In this uʍop ǝpᴉsd∩ world, it seemed like everything was opposite of what I knew it to be in reality.

    So what did I do?

    Dug in my heels and refused, like a stubborn mule, of course.

    I knew that regulation book like the back of my hand. Years of good mentoring had taught me well. There was no doubt in my mind that I was right, so I stood my ground. I made it very apparent that I did not agree with what was happening to the client and made multiple notes in the record. If the ship was going to go down, I was not going down with it.

    Every day we worked together, it felt like I was going to battle. She would say something I didn't agree with, I would disagree, she would shout at me and write me up. I wouldn't back down and would continue doing what I knew I should do, she would call HR, who probably made a note about her behavior every time she did it and nothing happened. Ashley wrote me up on multiple occasions for things that never stuck (the funniest of which being the time I dropped my work phone between the seats in my car and she accused me of having a "cavalier disregard" for work equipment).

    I went to HR many times about her. I let them know that I felt that Ashley was bullying me, as well as trying to set me up to be fired (which ended up being true). If she had had a license, I would have brought my concerns to the state licensing board too.

    To say the least: it was absolutely exhausting.

-

    How did this turn out for me?

    Ashley quit before three months was up. She said it was because of me. The client was released by my previous supervisor once Ashley was gone. I quit shortly after because I felt that I had no support from upper management.

    That's right, I quit. I was not fired.*

    The reason? There was no real reason (or way) to fire me. I was right and trying to protect my clients. I was also the only one who had worked there long enough to know how to run the floor single-handedly, so I'm sure that played a part in keeping me around.

*Disclaimer: I'm not saying that you won't get fired for taking this position with your supervisor if they ask you to do illegal things. You might. Take that into consideration when acting.*

-

     As wild as it is to think this, this does happen in the real world. It could happen to you like it happened to me, a new supervisor comes along and starts barking orders to hold someone against their will in a voluntary program. You could start another job and quickly learn that you are expected to complete your work in an unethical and illegal manner. Or maybe there's some reason that your current supervisor decides that doing work the right way is just not cutting it.

 -

    Here's my advice.

1. Enforce your boundaries and don't back down.

     Make it clear what your boundaries are. Once you've done that, hold fast to those boundaries and never waver. It is not easy to draw that line in the sand, especially with your boss. You need to remember that, at the end of the day, you want to do everything in your power to do right by your clients. You owe it to them to keep them safe and to protect their rights.

2. Remain respectful and calm, even when others are not. 

    In my specific circumstances, my demeanor was incredibly important. Ashley was waiting for me to slip up, so I had to make sure I was a step ahead of her. The best way for me to do that was to manage my emotions appropriately. I am confident that she was insecure in her position and, due to that, she would lash out when I did not agree with her. She would then double down on her opinion, even if it made no sense. My calm demeanor would only make her more angry. In my opinion, that was because she was not able to shake me.

3. Know your stuff.

     The more you know about your position and program, the better off you are when it comes to this kind of situation. I was able to enforce my boundaries because I knew that I was one hundred percent right in what I was saying. Accurate information is one of the best defenses you can have.

4. Know when it is time to walk away.

     You can only do battle with someone for so long before it starts to affect you. My blood pressure went down 30 "points" (not sure what it's called) after she quit. After all of the problems with her, there was a petty part of my brain that wanted to watch her quit before I did, so I can understand people who think that way. Just make sure that you know what you need to stay happy and healthy.

     I am interested to know how common this kind of thing is. How many people experience a supervisor like this? I hope it's not many. It can be exhausting but taking a stand is so important. Whether or not your clients know it, you stood up for them.

    Stand your ground.