“You Just Had a Bad Day I Didn’t Have”

    We all have clients who stand out in our minds for some reason or another. I remember the client in this story well. I learned many things about the client, myself, and how to be a good therapist. This story stands out to me, and I use it as an example often.

    This client and I had a good rapport and they trusted me. They would often come to me with doubts and anxieties and we would process them for basis in reality.

    I don’t remember what I said, but this client turned to me and said, “But we’re so different. I could never handle it like you do.”

   That really struck a chord with me. Clients often see their therapists as people who have it all together, people who have figured it out and that is how we can help others. The truth is, we’re just people. People who have sometimes experienced hardships or mental health issues of our own. People who have a deep empathy and sympathy for others and want them to succeed. We might know what to do but we may not know how to apply it to ourselves yet.

    All I could say was, “You just had a bad day I didn’t have.”

    It’s true. We all have a limit and a breaking point. We could have genetic markers for specific disorders that we accidentally trigger, like I did. We could drive past a wreck on the way home and not be able to deal with the trauma of what we saw. We could find our spouse cheating and it could drive us to do things we never thought of doing. We could lose our job and have a hard time finding another.

    We are all one bad day, one missed paycheck, one life-changing event from being in our client’s shoes.

    I always teach that because I never want to forget it. Keep this message in the back of your mind and it will help you ensure that you are always taking how the client feels into account.